SNL50 - Top 10 Deep Thoughts

 

I love Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. I have his books and I weekly post a thought in my classroom. Unfortunately, the ones I like best are not available online, so you will just have to imagine a nature scene and Phil Hartman’s voice over.

10. DEEP THOUGHTS: ANTS
EPISODE: S18E17 (04.10.1993)
“You know what frightens ants the most? It’s not the anteater. And it’s not the steamroller. No, wait, it is the steamroller. I got mixed up.”

9. LOST DEEP THOUGHTS: ACTORS  
EPISODE: S23E11 (01.17.1998)
“One of the worst things you can do as an actor, I think, is to forget your lines, and then get so flustered you start stabbing the other actors.”

8. DEEP THOUGHTS: CHEAP
EPISODE: S18E15 (03.13.1993)
“I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something like, ‘Hey, when are you going to pay me that hundred dollars you owe me?’ or ‘Do you have that fifty dollars you borrowed?’ Man, quit being so cheap!”

7. DEEP THOUGHTS: MAD WORLD
EPISODE: S17E10 (01.11.1992)
“Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, ‘Aw, who cares?’ And then I think, ‘Hey, what’s for supper?’”

6. FUZZY MEMORIES FAMILY CRISIS
EPISODE: S21E09 (12.16.1995)
Along with Deep Thoughts, Jack Handey also had a segment from his Big Thick Novel which was illustrated but just okay. He also had these quick films called Fuzzy Memories. This one actually has a clip to watch. Enjoy.
LINK: Click here

5. DEEP THOUGHTS: ENCHILADAS
EPISODE: S17E19 (05.09.1992)
“If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes enchiladas, because that’s what He’s getting.”

4. DEEP THOUGHTS: DISNEYLAND
EPISODE: S16E12 (02.09.1991)
“One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. ‘Oh, no,’ I said, ‘Disneyland burned down.’ He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.”

3. FUZZY MEMORIES: HEAD OUT
EPISODE: S21E09 (12.16.1995)
“When we used to go for a drive in the family car, I used to love to stick my head out the window. Until one time we passed an oncoming car and my head knocked off the dog’s head.” (Just picture a dog’s head flying into the air.)

2. DEEP THOUGHTS: CLOWNS
EPISODE: S16E11 (01.19.1991)
“To me, clowns aren’t funny. In fact, they’re kinda scary. I’ve wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.”

1. DEEP THOUGHTS: LAUGHTER
EPISODE: S18E17 (04.10.1993)
“Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis.”