Film: Superman

 

GENRE: Action
RATING: PG-13 for violence and language
RUNTIME: 2 hours and 9 minutes
PLATFORM: Movie Theatre
STARRING: David Corenswet (Twisters, The Politician)
Nicholas Hoult (Nosferatu); Rachel Brosnahan (Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)
DIRECTOR: James Gunn (Guardians the Galaxy 1-3, Peacemaker)
WRITER: Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy 1-3, The Suicide Squad)
PLOT: Superman gets pommeled by Lex and others repeatedly.

FULL DISCLOSURE: My expectations were low, despite liking Gunn.

STORY STUFF: Woof. That was awful. What an absolute mess. If this is the future of DC, count me out. Gunn can’t just use all the weird stuff he had in Guardians of the Galaxy and The Suicide Squad and now just use Superman instead. I like my superheroes rooted in real life as opposed to fantastical dimensions, portals and hands that become buzz saws. Metropolis seems pretty unfazed by these things, btw. I really started checking out once they were talking about galaxy rivers leading up to a black hole. How does a code fix a giant crevice? While I like my superheroes in the real world, I also want escapism instead of thinly veiled geopolitical situations like Gaza or ICE, or revenge for being fired from Guardians 3 years ago for some bad tweets. My bigger beef was that Superman was not that super. He is forever getting saved by the Justice Gang and his dog. In fact, it’s Krypto who really saves the day a number of times. The CG dog is actually one of the only glimmer of light in this cacophony (excuse the mixed metaphor). I will say that Superman is good at keeping people and things from being squished. The Daily Planet, like most modern newspapers, is useless. Perry White does nothing. Lois has nothing much to do except reprimand Superman and fly a spaceship. Why does an attractive woman want Jimmy and why is he avoiding her? What does Beck Bennet do at the paper except try to be comic relief? There are a couple heartfelt moments but also a lot of cheesiness. I was actually disappointed with the course language as it seems a lot less family friendly. I don’t mind the word ‘shit’ but it took me out of the film. I am probably not the demographic this film is aimed at. I like Superman and I like Guardians but putting them together is like chocolate and broccoli. Gamers might like it as the bad guys seem to have all the fight codes needed for the Mortal Kombat-style fight scenes.

ACTING STUFF: Conrenswet looks good as Superman until he is getting beaten senseless which is half the movie. Hoult does a good Lex for the majority of the film but then ends up like petulant child. Brosnahan has nothing to do. Nathan Fillion has some fun lines but I hate his haircut and don’t like him and his gang’s part in the film. I like the cameo that is being interviewed; that was fun.

ARTISTIC STUFF: What does Gunn have against eyes? Lots of eye stuff. Poking, laser burning, fighting a giant floating eye in the background of a scene that I guess should be funny because the couple in the foreground are having a serious conversation. The robots are a weird choice, despite the fun voices at times. Gunn also apparently likes fights on a sandy beach. Didn’t really like the music choices (other than John Williams’ theme) which is too bad because James Gunn usually picks great needle drops.  

VERDICT: One star out of five
SEE IT IF: You don’t like Superman and want random shit to happen.  
UPCOMING REVIEW: The Fantastic Four