The Da Vinci Code

Okay, so I am one of the twenty people on earth who haven’t read The Da Vinci Code. I’m not really a reader, I prefer a much more visual medium. So my opinion of this movie may be very different from someone who has actually read Dan Brown’s book. I have heard that those who read the book found the movie enjoyable because they got to see the images they had created in their head, now acted on the screen in front of them. Of course, I have a hard time believing that anyone would have imagined main character Robert Langdon looking like a greasy-long haired Tom Hanks. In any case, while the movie studios always bank on the fact that those who read the book are likely to watch the movie, they also need to make sure that the film makes sense to those who are uninformed, namely myself. Not that the film left me confused in the slightest.

If I had to describe The Da Vinci Code I would say it’s just like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade except with 1/10 the action, 7 times the exposition and none of the light humour. Okay, so maybe it’s nothing like Indiana. Maybe the state, I haven’t really been there before. I was bored out of my tree watching this film. The only time I was on the edge of my seat was when I was drifting off, much like some sermons I heard when I was young. It could be the fact that on top of all the mind-numbing explanations, all the actors had soothing voices that are easily able to put one to sleep. I might have been more alert if Gilbert Gottfried was doing the explanations instead of Sir Ian McKellan. Not to rag on McKellan though, he was actually my favourite character in the story, but it was unfortunate that he had to explain everything to the tiniest detail. Oh, and what’s the deal with Paul Bettany as the masochist albino, did this actually help his career?

It’s not that the film was terrible, it was just wasn’t what I expected. Judging from the trailers, I was expecting some adventure, mystery and some great acting from Tom Hanks. Unfortunately, all three were disappointing. Because of the complex symbology and cryptology, it’s not like you could guess the answers yourself. I was hoping more for a whodunit. Maybe if you read the book, you have more time to work things out in your mind before turning the next page. In any case, I think this movie would probably make an okay rental, probably more so if you read the book. But enough of my exposition.