Transformers

I remember seeing the first teaser trailer. The audience was confused by the Mars Rover footage, then we saw the robotic silhouette and the murmuring began. Then the title Transformers appeared on the screen and there was a testosterone cheer that shook the theatre. This is the movie everyone’s been waiting for. It was even given the ludicrous MTV Movie Award for Best Summer Movie You Haven’t Seen. My expectations were high at first, until I saw the first full image of a transformer. As those who have talked to me in the last couple months know, I had some issues with the movie from day one but I’ll get to them after I tell you about the good stuff.

Transformers is the typical Michael Bay film. It has the slow-motion low angle 180 degree arc around the main character as he slowly gets up. It has the soldier silhouettes walking around a hangar. It has the slow motion Americana shots of people and buildings just before they get obliterated. It has the highly explosive action sequences you have come to know and love. It has the music that is reminiscent of The Rock and Armageddon combined. And it has the wide array of main and supporting characters with great one-liners mixed with action movie clichés. I like Michael Bay films. I like Bad Boys, The Rock, Armageddon, The Island, Bad Boys II and even Pearl Harbor. (The latter one for the action and characters, not the historical content.) So this film was right up my alley when it came to the filmmaking. Michael Bay knows how to move the camera. There is a great shot of a transformer changing overtop a woman standing in the street; it looks awesome. So visually this movie rocks.

The human cast also does some fine work. I didn’t think that I would like Shia LaBeouf (Holes, Disturbia, Indy 4). He was great. He plays Sam Witwicky, the nervous teenager, perfectly and keeps the energy going throughout the movie. His love interest, played by Megan Fox (Hope & Faith), does a good job stringing him along. Anthony Anderson is very funny as a signal analyst and Bernie Mac is fun to watch as a car dealer. John Turturro goes slightly overboard as an FBI agent but still manages to make it work. Sam’s parents, played by Kevin Dunn and Julie White, are hysterical, as they don’t know how to deal with their son. Josh Duhamel (Las Vegas) and Tyrese Gibson (2 Fast 2 Furious) are your cliché spouting soldiers and Rachael Taylor plays the “typical” unbelievably hot signal analyst. Apparently, the government only hires good-looking people. No Ugly Bettys here. Probably the biggest waste of talent is Jon Voight, who is usually menacing but is given very little to do in this film.

So the cinematography is great, the cast is great and even the story works. Well, except for the fact that they decide to hide a valuable object in a highly-populated area so more people can accidentally get injured or killed.. So what’s wrong with the film? I think it’s the transformers themselves. Now I want to preface this by saying that I’m not trying to be a LOTR-type purist, but if you’re going to mine my childhood for some quick cash, you better make it look how I remember it.

Now there are some things I have come to terms with regarding the design of the Autobots. At first, I was annoyed that Bumblebee was made into a Camero instead of the classic VW bug, but I head that Volkswagon was asking for an insane amount of money, so Michael Bay said screw you. It also makes a scene where Bumblebee wrecks a VW that much more funny. I was also not a big fan of the muscular design of the transformers. I remember them looking more boxy instead of this toned figure with every little car part adding to its muscle mass. But then again, there have been newer anime cartoons of the Transformers so maybe that’s where they got the new sleeker inspiration. I was very happy that they got Peter Cullen to reprise his role as the voice of Optimus Prime. I also like the attitudes they gave the rest of the Autobots; it not only reminded me of the series but they also took a step further. I still laugh when I think of Optimus Prime saying “My bad.” There is a fantastic scene in Transformers where the Autobots are trying to hide in Sam’s backyard. This is what made the movie work for me. So there, I loved the Autobots. Too bad they screwed up the Decepticons.

For those who grew up with the Transformers, I’m sure you remember the Insectacons and Constructicons, but the big three baddies were Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave. All three are ruined in Michael Bay’s Transformers. First of all, Megatron is a gun, not a jet. And while I think Hugo Weaving does great evil voices, why not get Frank Welker, who did Megatron’s voice from 1984-1987, to come back. He’s does Santa’s Little Helper’s voice on The Simpsons, I’m sure he was available. I was also annoyed at the voice of Starsceam. He’s supposed to be whiny. The original was Chris Latta who also did Cobra Commander’s voice, but he unfortunately died in 1994. Still, Charles Adler could have made Starsceam more annoying.

The one villain who got the shaft was Soundwave. Sure, Soundwave is a tapedeck and the kids would get confused, but he’s a classic. Now at first I thought they had reduced this character to a Dead Like Me-type graveling instead of the towering monotone foot soldier he is. But looking through the credits, the gremlin creature is named Frenzy, who happens to be one of the cassette henchman Soundwave controls, much like Ravage and Rumble. So, I guess I can forgive that as well. My main issue with the Decepticons in this film is that they aren’t given enough personality. Action movies need dynamic villains. This is the one place where Michael Bay’s Transformers fails.

For some, the villain thing is minor issue and I realize I’m a bit of a freak when it comes to things like this. In conclusion, you should definitely see this film in the theatre. Like you need me to tell you that. It’s the eye-candy you’ve been waiting for and as they say throughout the film, it’s more than meets the eye. And it’s more than meets the trailer.

Reviews coming soon: Ratatouille