Spiderman 3

What a mess! Okay, I’ll admit that my expectations for Spiderman 3 were a tad high. When I read what other critics had said, I felt that they were judging the film too harshly. Then I saw the train-wreck up close. When I first heard about Spiderman 3 back in 2004, I figured, there is no way they can screw this up. They were using the same actors, the same director and three years to make their masterpiece. What could go wrong? A lot, apparently.

Let’s backtrack to the first two Spidey outings. The first Spiderman is my favourite of the franchise. I don’t really like the Green Goblin costume, but I love myself an origin story. The casting was wonderful, the shots were epic, the screenplay was skillfully put together, and it exceeded my already high expectations. I believe I even named Spiderman my top movie of that year. Then came Spiderman 2, which built nicely on its predecessor. Doc Ock was a way better villain, they had a lot of fun with Parker’s character, the special effects were even cooler, but the film also made one of the most unforgivable mistakes in my opinion. They have a moment where an entire elevated train learns the identity of Spiderman but promise not to tell. Yeah right. From a creative standpoint, I can understand that the hero’s mask keeps coming off so the audience can see the emotion (or the actor wants more face time), but I don’t recall superheroes telling everyone who they are. If they do, it kind of negates the whole costume idea. But I digress. The first two Spiderman flicks are some of the best superhero films out there, unfortunately the third installment takes a nose-dive.

I can’t really blame the acting. Tobey Maguire, James Franco and Kirsten Dunst all do an adequate job with the lines they are given. Maguire gets to have some fun as a nerd trying to be a bad ass. Franco’s character seems bi-polar in this film, but it’s nice to Harry Osborne smile again. Unfortunately, Dunst’s Mary Jane has turned into a whiny, closed off, bitch; which was echoed by many of the fans sitting behind me in the movie theatre. They yelled out some names during the screening, I wanted to join them. The returning supporting characters all turn in fun performances. JK Simmons’ Jameson is still a treat to watch, Rosemary Harris’ Aunt May is still a great source of wisdom, and Bruce Campbell (the fight MC in 1 and usher in 2) takes on another memorable role as a French Maitre d’ trying to help Peter propose. And then there are the new characters. Topher Grace is the standout as Eddie Brock who becomes Venom. Grace is fun to watch and a welcome addition to the Spidey films. Bryce Dallas Howard is fine as new love interest, Gwen Stacy, but she isn’t given that much to work with. And Thomas Haden Church is okay as Sandman but his brooding drags the whole film down. But I have a hard time blaming him for that, since the script calls for it.

In then end, it all comes down to the writing. And who can we thank for this chaos; none other than the Raimi brothers, Sam the director and his brother Ivan. Their past writing credits is basically the Evil Dead series, which is cheesy fun, but in a good way. The cheesiness found in Spiderman 3 is not. I’ll never know why Sam Raimi thought he could do it all himself, has he not learned from George Lucas’ mistake? Stick to directing and get a professional to write these things. My biggest problem with Spiderman 3 is the same issue I had with the end of the original Batman series, too many villains. Does Parker really have to fight three people, isn’t one enough? If it was just Spiderman and Venom, this movie could have rocked but they had to bring in Sandman.

Why use Sandman at all? In my opinion, he is one of the lesser villains like Rhinoman. Stick to the big guys, like Mysterio. So they go and make Sandman sympathetic with an ailing daughter, to kind of justify his actions. Snoresville. They also make him responsible for Uncle Ben’s death. Really? You’re going to play that trilogy card of fiddling around with the facts stated in the first movie? Not smart. Find another reason for Parker to seek vengeance. I felt bad for Thomas Haden Church, what a boring role to play. He can do funny, he was Lowell on Wings for Pete’s sake.

The other lame character that is given more screen time is Harry’s butler who hasn’t said boo all series up till now. In the end, he clears some things up in such a way that he should have had the words "Deus Ex Machina" tattooed on his forehead. Lame. This guy apparently preferred to sit on the sidelines and watch people practically kill each other rather than interject. Where’s Alfred when you need him?

I know I’ve been ragging on Spiderman 3 but at least it wasn’t as bad as Batman and Robin. The action sequences are well crafted and fun but the quieter moments are long and tedious. So should you see this film on the big screen? Sure. Judge it for yourself. Maybe my expectations were too high. I thought there was no way they could screw this up. I was wrong. This does makes me a little bit worried about Pirates III. But maybe that’s a good thing.