Shrek the Third

I’ll just come straight out and say I’ve never been a huge fan of Shrek. While I still go to the theatres to watch them, I find many things wrong with the Shrek series. I remember when the first one came out and everyone was impressed with the animation, the characters and the storyline with its theme of beauty being on the inside. The animation of Shrek is fine, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the genius of Pixar. I always find that Dreamworks animation looks a little grainy, while Pixar films are vibrant and clean. I like most of the characters of Shrek although many are one-note wonders. I still like Eddie Murphy’s donkey but he has regrettably turned down the annoyance factor as the movies progressed. And while I usually love Mike Meyers work, I do not like what he does with Shrek. Why did he have to go with the Scottish accent again? I didn’t even like it in Austin Powers. If you want to see Mike Meyers do some great Scottish, go further back and watch the classic So I Married an Axe Murderer. The voice of Shrek was supposed to be done by Chris Farley but he unfortunately died before he could finish. It would have been awesome to have Farley’s voice coming out of Shrek’s mouth. Stupid drugs. And what actually annoyed me most about the original Shrek story is that Fiona had to be transformed into an ogre in order to be with Shrek. I would have much rather preferred a cross-species relationship (much like Donkey and Dragon), as that would have helped it’s beauty-on-the-inside theme a lot more.

The second Shrek managed to push my buttons as well. While I did enjoy Puss in Boots, I was horrified with the sexual innuendos found throughout the movie. I understand putting in jokes for parents that are above the kid’s heads, but they went too far. The three maidens trying to take off the transformed Shrek’s clothes was a little much, the fairy godmother was usually crass, and the final song was not a good choice. Livin’ La Vida Loca is not a kid’s song, it’s basically about a woman who drugs, sleeps with, and robs a guy who is helpless to her advances. I’m a Believer was much more family-friendly.

And now onto Shrek the Third. Like it’s previous installments, I do find myself laughing at some of their jokes and mildly enjoying their story. My biggest problem with this third film is how un-ogreish Shrek has become. In the first one, he was burbing, farting and generally scaring all those who hadn’t met him before. Now he’s become a green Barney. When he goes to the school to pick up Justin Timberlake’s tepid Arthur, no one seems phased by Shrek’s appearance. He’s an ogre, people.

Shrek the Third deals with realizing your place in the world and preparing for fatherhood. Wow, another milestone in the journey of life. Dreamworks is already working on Shrek 4, which will probably deal with raising an ogre-child. I’m thinking Shrek 10 will deal with the Fiona’s menopause and Shrek thinking about retirement.

The one thing I loved about Shrek the Third was the army of princesses. Snow White (Amy Poehler), Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph), Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri), Cinderella (Amy Sedaris) and Doris the Stepsister (Larry King) were a riot. Sleeping Beauty’s fall down attack was brilliant and Snow White’s sarcasm is just what this film needed. If the princesses are in the foreground of Shrek’s fourth film, I’ll definitely check it out. With Shrek the Third, I would wait till DVD just so you can watch the princess scene over and over again. But if you want to take some kids (yours, nieces, nephews or random kids off the street), go ahead, this installment is not as sexual as the second. Thank goodness.

Reviews coming soon: Hot Fuzz, Knocked Up, Ocean’s 13, Evan Almighty, 1408, Live Free or Die Hard.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

This is the summer of threequels. Some are made to finish off a story and some are made as just another series of wacky adventures. Both are made as a cash grab for the studio. I find it sad that I too have been trained by Hollywood to anticipate these “cookie-cutter” features over original edgy material. By creating sequels, the film industry has created such high expectations for their movies that they can rarely live up to them. Everyone knows that there will be comparisons to the original, which are often found to be far superior because of its originality. Look at what happened to The Matrix. It is now up to audience members to lower their excitement in order to be blown away by the latest Hollywood offering. Luckily for me, Spiderman 3 already let all the air out of my expectations so I can try to enjoy these sequels based on their own merit. But who am I kidding, the comparisons are bound to come out.

Let’s get the blockbuster ball rolling with Pirates of the Caribbean III: At World’s End. Actually the III shouldn’t be there because the studio doesn’t want you to know it’s a sequel. By this rationale they should be able to sell the movie without the Pirates moniker and just name it At World’s End just like Return of the Jedi. C’mon, people don’t call it Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, do they? But I digress. Let’s talk about the movie.

I found Pirates to be blah. I went in looking forward to seeing all the story lines that were introduced in Dead Man’s Chest to be resolved. I left not caring. The problem that I have with these movie is all the double crossing. Now I realize that we are dealing with pirates and these aren’t the most trust-worthy people in the world but this installment had ten characters switching from one side to another. First they’re on this ship, then they’re considered the property of this ship, then they steal this other ship. At the end of the day, I really have no idea who I am supposed to be rooting for. Am I supposed to want Will to save his father, or do I want him to marry Elizabeth, do I want Jack to get his ship back, am I supposed to like Barbossa now, do I want Davy Jones to find the girl of his dreams? I don’t know and maybe I’m not supposed to care. I guess I should be rooting for Jack since he’s the one we tend to see the most of (in more ways than one in this movie). While I love the energy his performance brings to the screen, I prefer to see Johnny Depp’s Jack Sparrow in smaller funnier doses.

My biggest disappointment about Pirates III was its lack of sword-fighting. I’ll admit I wasn’t a huge fan of the second installment but it sure had some awesomely fun three-way sword duels. It was the highlight of the movie for me. This episode only has one on a mast with the incredible balance of Jones and Sparrow. I’m not really into ship fights. The big whirlpool was cool but cannons and swinging from ship to ship is kind of ho-hum for me. I did find it funny that with all the pirate ships banded together and all the East Coast Trading Company ships ready to attack, we only saw two ships fighting each other. Maybe they were representing their team or something.

A lot of people have told me how much they didn’t like Keira Knightly and the fact that she’s forever making out with half the cast. Well, I think she’s hot so those scenes didn’t bother me at all. What did bother me were the previews. I am fine with movie trailers before a film but we were treated to the Feature Presentation fanfare then subjected to two more previews. I wonder if that was just in my theatre?

So if you haven’t seen Pirates III already, should you see it in the theatres? I think so. The action scenes do lend themselves well to the big screen. Like I said, the whirlpool does look cool, as does a fun ship-tipping scene. Of course, if you think sitting in the theatre for three hours is ridiculous and painful, you may want to wait for the DVD.

The TV Season In Review

I’ll get to my reviews of Pirates, Shrek, Oceans and Knocked Up soon, but first I’ll wrap up my thoughts on the network TV season. Just so you know, there’s definitely spoilers ahead so you may want to jump from section to section. Also, my thoughts are a little disjointed as this review was written over a few days and I’ve been really, really tired.

THE DRAMAS

Lost
Since returning in February, I would almost say that this season has been its best. This is the season that showed us Locke’s big fall, Desmond’s disturbing gift, the true Sawyer, the awful death of minor characters, Ben’s creepy eyes, Charlie’s list, and much, much more. And what a season finale! Wow! Hurley’s rescue made me clap, Sayid’s foot trick made me wince, and Charlie’s final moments made me sad. And how about that fantastic twist with the flash-forward that makes us ponder even more: was that Ben in the coffin? Is Jack’s dad still alive? I think so. Unfortunately, we have to wait till next February to start the ball rolling again. Fortunately, the show runs uninterrupted and we know they need to wrap up the series in 48 episodes; it’s going to be a fun ride!

Heroes
As much as liked Hiro’s yell in the middle of Times Square in the first episode, I think it was Claire’s response to her open chest cavity on the morgue table that sold me on the series. I was happy to see all the characters come together in New York for the finale. My favourite line would have to be Sylar’s “Turns out you’re the villain, Peter. I’m the hero.” The only thing that bothered me about the finale was the “All You Need Is Love” answer to the impeding explosion. Of course, they made up for it by hinting at a scarier villain and starting with Volume Two featuring a confused Hiro seeing another eclipse. Well, that and Sylar escaping. With its wide variety of character, the cool powers, the unabashedly serialized plot, this series is a true protégé of Lost. If you missed out, get the DVD on August 28 and watch it non-stop, you won’t be disappointed.

24
This season was a train wreck. These writers need to take a seminar with the staff of Lost and Heroes (I’m most disappointed in David Fury, a former Buffy writer who should know better.) I wish Jack Bauer worked for the FBI or something so that we could get away from terrorism and the silly antics of CTU. We know that in each season, Jack will have to be working for and against CTU in some capacity. Don’t you think Jack has earned the right to do whatever he pleases? He’s always right; the president may want to write that down somewhere. The season started okay but when CTU is handed over to someone who was interrogated of suspected terrorism four hours earlier, you gotta start wondering what the hell the writers are thinking. The day should have ended when Jack secured the bombs instead starting another storyline with Audrey. And do they not work in shifts over at CTU? Just imagine the overtime pay. And what happened to Palmer? There’s way too much sloppy writing this season.Unless the terrorists are from Canada next year, I may be bowing out on Bauer come January.

House
I’m getting more addicted to the show with each passing episode. I’m not even really bothered with its “almost-solution-with-twenty minutes-to-go” ploy. I’ve been liking the longer story arcs, the interesting cases, and of course Hugh Laurie’s work as House. Loved the episode on the plane. Good stuff.

Prison Break
The first season was better. There’s something about restrictions that makes me enjoy a show more. That’s probably why I like the first Die Hard. This season had its ups and downs but I was still compelled to watch. I’m intrigued with Michael being stuck in a prison he didn’t help design, and with a bunch of people who want to kill him to boot. Should make for an interesting season three.

Veronica Mars
I can’t decide which season I like best, they each seem so strong. I can’t believe more people don’t watch this clever and puzzle-filled show. I hope The CW gets with the program and allows Veronica’s FBI series on the air. It’s always sad when bad things happen to good television shows.

Smallville
I didn‘t mind Lex and Lana together but it didn’t leave Clark with much to do. The Phantom Zone hunting grew pretty stale. I did like the addition of Green Arrow and the start of the Justice League. I would love to see Bruce Wayne make an appearance next season. I also loved Chloe and Jimmy, especially in their film noir episode. Here’s hoping that Lana is dead and Chloe survives. I can only hope.

CSI:
I like that this show has moved away from the sexually-based crimes that seemed to dominate previous seasons. The exploits of the miniature killer were a treat to watch this year, especially when the lab rats tried to solve the case. I also enjoyed the subtle exchanges between Sarah and Grissom. There’s a reason this show is still one of the most watched in America.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
I’ll never understand how people can watch the David Caruso-diseased CSI: Miami instead of Studio 60. This show had some wonderful messages and some brilliant acting. Sure, they could have used a seasoned sketch writer to punch up the Studio 60 sketch segments but Aaron Sorkin still did a wonderful job with the rest of the series. Shame on NBC for prematurely yanking the plug. Maybe they only give chances to initially low-rated comedies like Cheers, Seinfeld and The Office.

THE COMDIES

The Office
If you asked me which series I preferred: The UK version or the first season of the US version, I’d pick the British one in a heartbeat. Now, with a couple more seasons under its belt, I’d say that the US version kicks ass. I find myself caring about the characters a lot more while still cringing at the antics of Steve Carrell’s Michael Scott. I am really enjoying the times when the characters talk to the camera. Dwight is the king of those interviews. I also loved the string of guest directors like Harold Ramis, JJ Abrams and Joss Whedon. My favourite would have to be Whedon’s episode with Michael teaching Ryan’s class and Jim slowing turning into a vampire to freak out Dwight.

How I Met Your Mother
Now this is a clever sitcom. The way this show jumps around the timeline is both interesting and hysterical. Every word that comes out of Neil Patrick Harris’s mouth is pure gold. It’s legendary. The relationships are fun and true to life. These are the kind of people I would like to hang out with. The show is also great for rewarding fans with small inside jokes that need no explanation; there’s a slap bet in progress that can happen at any time. This is a stellar show, more people should be watching it. Are you?

30 Rock
This show started off a little clunky with the exception of the brilliant Alec Baldwin. Now the show is sheer comic genius. The storylines involving Baldwin and Tina Fey are fun and witty as hell. I just wish more time was spent in the show’s fictional writing room where there are a lot of laughs. This new show is definitely a keeper.

Scrubs
The show was little disappointing this year. It still had the great dream sequences and powerful storytelling but something seemed to be missing. The child-like innocence from the first few seasons are gone, they’re all leading more adult lives now which makes sense but is not as interesting to me. This next year is probably their last, I hope they can go out with a bang.

Simpsons
Say what you will about the show losing some of its humour over the last few years, but this show just cracked 400 episodes and I still like it more than Family Guy and American Dad. Their 24 parody was fun, their guest stars are still huge and you can’t tell me that The Simpson Movie isn’t going to rock. I hope they keep cranking this show out. Let’s shoot for 500.

SNL
I love watching Amy Poehler She is awesome. Also Kristen Wiig is starting to grow on me. I miss Seth Meyers being in sketches, but I do like his work on Weekend Update. This season has been pretty uneven but shows were saved with Andy Samberg’s Digital Shorts and hosts like Alec Baldwin and Justin Timberlake. You should check out some of their work on You Tube. Funny stuff.

I watch a bunch of other shows but there’s not much to say about their season this year. Here’s to next season and hoping more people watch what I watch.